Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
