pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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