There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
There r osticjed everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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