The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
