update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
