he shaved USA in his pubs
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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