True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
