So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Randomize
