I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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