i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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