problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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