this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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