Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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