we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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