like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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