Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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