nut hugger
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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