she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
