awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
