laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm determined to sit on that face.