Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  so explain again why im purple

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  no

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  (925): so explain again why im purple (617): no http://tfl.nu/yipi
  Replies (10) Good night (2018) Bad night (746)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?

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  (405): Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period? http://tfl.nu/qune
  Replies (37) Good night (618) Bad night (1115)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?

  (1-506): View more from New Brunswick

  Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to

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  (506): Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh? (1-506): Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to http://tfl.nu/xpu9
  Replies (16) Good night (3239) Bad night (838)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  but fathers day is next sunday

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet

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  (781): i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day (617): but fathers day is next sunday (781): i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet http://tfl.nu/pxvx
  Replies (14) Good night (1004) Bad night (4413)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion

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  (215): I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion http://tfl.nu/gpfj
  Replies (68) Good night (4791) Bad night (821)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.

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  (908): I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me. http://tfl.nu/bgr1
  Replies (29) Good night (846) Bad night (4667)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table

  (804): View more from Virginia

  by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?

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  (919): its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table (804): by asking you if you bought one for the apartment? http://tfl.nu/5ql8
  Replies (6) Good night (2683) Bad night (664)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"

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  (813): The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you" http://tfl.nu/44qj
  Replies (14) Good night (7297) Bad night (985)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.

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  (702): Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog. http://tfl.nu/spgx
  Replies (8) Good night (1123) Bad night (5331)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.

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  (573): You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now. http://tfl.nu/pagz
  Replies (7) Good night (4252) Bad night (979)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"

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  (832): You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you" http://tfl.nu/nnn7
  Replies (1) Good night (2563) Bad night (826)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.

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  (910): Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me. http://tfl.nu/zvsa
  Replies (2) Good night (1102) Bad night (567)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.

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  (912): Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks. http://tfl.nu/l0wp
  Replies (5) Good night (1255) Bad night (568)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.

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  (501): I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something. http://tfl.nu/os86
  Replies (0) Good night (612) Bad night (353)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt

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  (404): I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt http://tfl.nu/pn3o
  Replies (2) Good night (372) Bad night (192)

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