Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  grinding to god bless the USA? really?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  shut up

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  (702): grinding to god bless the USA? really? (860): shut up http://tfl.nu/llw2
  Replies (12) Good night (963) Bad night (1281)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Midnight walks are trippy

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.

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  (817): Midnight walks are trippy (1-817): I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon. http://tfl.nu/r0y6
  Replies (9) Good night (3587) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day

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  (912): i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day http://tfl.nu/5rbo
  Replies (29) Good night (5996) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  im holly from the hills drunk

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  (203): im holly from the hills drunk http://tfl.nu/ouvm
  Replies (18) Good night (3870) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out

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  (508): he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out http://tfl.nu/cxh0
  Replies (8) Good night (4067) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.

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  (440): i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me. http://tfl.nu/a0ta
  Replies (13) Good night (3292) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.

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  (214): Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed. http://tfl.nu/czkr
  Replies (8) Good night (670) Bad night (1451)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box

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  (516): Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box http://tfl.nu/dk8b
  Replies (9) Good night (657) Bad night (1578)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."

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  (570): Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could." http://tfl.nu/hbr4
  Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Fuck yeah GAYNESS

  (415): View more from California

  *explodes into glitter*

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  (415): Fuck yeah GAYNESS (415): *explodes into glitter* http://tfl.nu/o7gi
  Replies (3) Good night (1042) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.

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  (734): My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet. http://tfl.nu/i7lx
  Replies (5) Good night (540) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.

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  (256): I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about. http://tfl.nu/f4uq
  Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand

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  (917): You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand http://tfl.nu/conm
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...

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  (510): I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night... http://tfl.nu/bk6r
  Replies (1) Good night (469) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?

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  (508): So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual? (774): Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone? http://tfl.nu/2o1d
  Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (219)

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