Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
