Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.

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  (703): party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come. http://tfl.nu/yys7
  Replies (12) Good night (1063) Bad night (439)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.

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  (571): i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me. http://tfl.nu/qg7x
  Replies (58) Good night (5456) Bad night (985)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.

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  (847): She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing. http://tfl.nu/qwo3
  Replies (15) Good night (2074) Bad night (4206)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.

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  (847): Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport? (1-847): It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok. http://tfl.nu/wou3
  Replies (30) Good night (4743) Bad night (1051)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.

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  (770): I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar. http://tfl.nu/rlky
  Replies (9) Good night (3945) Bad night (2190)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final

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  (610): You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final http://tfl.nu/7b8j
  Replies (18) Good night (9963) Bad night (834)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.

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  (602): I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again. http://tfl.nu/a40p
  Replies (35) Good night (9786) Bad night (989)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.

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  (315): We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits. http://tfl.nu/d5s5
  Replies (9) Good night (3199) Bad night (958)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.

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  (281): Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together. http://tfl.nu/69iq
  Replies (15) Good night (2819) Bad night (794)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.

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  (319): Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up. http://tfl.nu/ktvf
  Replies (17) Good night (5034) Bad night (811)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.

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  (507): All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different. http://tfl.nu/qt7m
  Replies (15) Good night (2603) Bad night (1504)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.

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  (514): so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view. http://tfl.nu/r0p2
  Replies (2) Good night (1540) Bad night (439)
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  (534): View more from Wisconsin

  He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime

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  (534): He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime http://tfl.nu/bhm3
  Replies (13) Good night (2649) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?

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  (925): Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early (401): You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him? http://tfl.nu/zkzj
  Replies (4) Good night (2409) Bad night (210)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.

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  (920): Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable. http://tfl.nu/w3qs
  Replies (2) Good night (289) Bad night (236)

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