Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

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(604): I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks. http://tfl.nu/kxma

Replies (34) Good night (2317) Bad night (2710)
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(904): View more from Florida

im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!

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(904): im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend! http://tfl.nu/e3rl

Replies (50) Good night (3260) Bad night (1142)
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(971): View more from Oregon

I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.

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(971): I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one. http://tfl.nu/nv72

Replies (17) Good night (3802) Bad night (582)
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(310): View more from California

Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."

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(310): Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz." http://tfl.nu/9mw5

Replies (6) Good night (3554) Bad night (928)
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(850): View more from Florida

Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.

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(850): Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober. http://tfl.nu/1ay2

Replies (44) Good night (3534) Bad night (856)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.

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(506): No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park. http://tfl.nu/t1o0

Replies (7) Good night (805) Bad night (2305)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...

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(517): I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall... http://tfl.nu/myki

Replies (18) Good night (9949) Bad night (2189)
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(301): View more from Maryland

not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs

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(301): not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs http://tfl.nu/cui3

Replies (6) Good night (2570) Bad night (1078)
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(812): View more from Indiana

according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep

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(812): according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep http://tfl.nu/y2u2

Replies (19) Good night (3299) Bad night (964)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar

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(513): Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar http://tfl.nu/rpu6

Replies (7) Good night (3720) Bad night (873)
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(848): View more from New Jersey

She said she wanted to have closure sex.

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(848): She said she wanted to have closure sex. http://tfl.nu/0dyj

Replies (9) Good night (3814) Bad night (1108)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.

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(202): I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure. http://tfl.nu/68x5

Replies (3) Good night (1530) Bad night (636)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.

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(651): And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab. http://tfl.nu/lb7r

Replies (7) Good night (1371) Bad night (572)
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(330): View more from Ohio

hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?

(614): View more from Ohio

is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?

(330): View more from Ohio

how did you know?

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(330): hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something? (614): is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'? (330): how did you know? http://tfl.nu/tzki

Replies (5) Good night (2419) Bad night (543)
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(757): View more from Virginia

SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?

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(757): SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get? http://tfl.nu/a9m1

Replies (12) Good night (1201) Bad night (1214)

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