I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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