I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
