So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
