I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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