I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
