How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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