there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I FOUND THE LEGS
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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