Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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