Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.

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(979): View more from Texas

I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest

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(404): View more from Georgia

All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.

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(850): View more from Florida

I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.

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(334): View more from Alabama

My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.

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