Redeem this text for a blowjob
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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