I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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