Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize