Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Less talking, more tequila
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
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I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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