I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
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I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
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Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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