well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you inspire me to be a worse person
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
