my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
