How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
