some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
