You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
