Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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