i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
