I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.