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I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
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