His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
