I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
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Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
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I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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