just tell him i said nine months
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
