I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
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Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
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And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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