Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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