Pappa wants mamma naked
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize