How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
