It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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