i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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