So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize
