Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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