I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
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I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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