it wasn't lemon gatorade
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
