I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
