she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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