Tell her she can't have a vagina
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
