i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
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I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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