I wish my penis had an off switch
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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