dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
