I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
